Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Contributing to the delinquency of a bad artist

I have a new report from my celebrity correspondent, Youngling #1, on a little development from last night. It seems he had another run-in with an auspicious celebrity. Here's his report:


I had a meeting with a girl from my acting class last night so I traveled up Mulholland to her house, which was an enormous place for an aspiring actress to live. I had a feeling this chick was loaded, but this was a big fucking estate. So inside, we sat down and talked for a little while, but I couldn't keep my eyes off the familiar face in a picture on the wall. So I started fishing about who her roommates were and what they did. The familiar one, I learned with no surprise, was named Ashlee. A few more questions and my suspicions were affirmed. Minutes later, Ashlee Simpson appeared at the door and had a seat with us, proceeding to talk about rolling and other drug encounters. She asserted her desire for booze, so we took a trip to Ralph's where I was nominated to buy, since no one else was yet 21. She handed me a crisp hundred dollar bill, and I took the liberty of buying some groceries of my own. I needed some wheat bread, after all. The whole business was pretty awkward, what with me jerking off to a picture of her sister the night before. But I thought it kind of funny when Ashlee purchased an US Weekly with Nick and Jessica's cheating scandal on the cover. I had a few drinks but called it an early night. Still I think this isn't my last run in with her. I'm working on getting her over to the Deuce for dance party. Later,

C Murda

Not bad son. You are on the cusp of shedding your Youngling title. Keep up the good work and let me know if you need some roofies for next time.

Btw, anyone reading this might want to visit here. For the record, your ol pal Marty doesn't know a whole lot about this whole celebrity business, so please let me know if this type of content is unacceptable for an illusionist to deal in.


PS - This is how we do it at the Deuce.
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