This and that, and a crazy motherfucker
Well, my boy wasn't able to quite finish the task. Charged with the assignment of consuming 26 patties and 26 slices of cheese from In N Out burger, he came up a little short. But not from lack of trying. Just look at the poor fucker all excited and getting ready to break the record. I'm still proud of you, Youngling #2.
Btw, the staff at the restaurant deserves a lot of credit for helping out. The dude on the right, Givani, was really pulling for Scrubby Nub and would make a fine Wizard. In any case, I won't say too much more about it. You can read in depth about this guy's aspirations to rise up the ranks of the world's best competitive eaters by checking out the Evolving Revolution.
Speaking of, I also highly recommend that you peruse the International Federation of Competitive Eating. The No. 2 ranked player in the world is a 105-pound chick. What the fuck is that all about?
I'd like to make one comment about life. It's really hard sometimes. Your ol pal Marty has had a case of the blues lately due to a combination of gambling problems, trouble with the government, overexposure, overindulgence, a shortage of compatible shield maidens, loss of creative drive, impotence, self doubt, failure to hit 40% on my three point attempts, lack of drinking money, a bum job, a bum ankle, a bum living in my house, and some, you know, uhh, family trouble. So if anyone out there knows any Class 1 Happiness Spells, feel free to cast them for Marty. I promise thee, the generosity will be reciprocated in kind.
Props to Koushun Takami, Stephen Levitt, Dennis Hopper, George A. Romero, Kenny G, and Barnich. Also apologies to David Byrne. Somebody get me out of this Diet Soda K-HOLE! Fuck off everybody.
Shakes.
Btw, the staff at the restaurant deserves a lot of credit for helping out. The dude on the right, Givani, was really pulling for Scrubby Nub and would make a fine Wizard. In any case, I won't say too much more about it. You can read in depth about this guy's aspirations to rise up the ranks of the world's best competitive eaters by checking out the Evolving Revolution.
Speaking of, I also highly recommend that you peruse the International Federation of Competitive Eating. The No. 2 ranked player in the world is a 105-pound chick. What the fuck is that all about?
I'd like to make one comment about life. It's really hard sometimes. Your ol pal Marty has had a case of the blues lately due to a combination of gambling problems, trouble with the government, overexposure, overindulgence, a shortage of compatible shield maidens, loss of creative drive, impotence, self doubt, failure to hit 40% on my three point attempts, lack of drinking money, a bum job, a bum ankle, a bum living in my house, and some, you know, uhh, family trouble. So if anyone out there knows any Class 1 Happiness Spells, feel free to cast them for Marty. I promise thee, the generosity will be reciprocated in kind.
Props to Koushun Takami, Stephen Levitt, Dennis Hopper, George A. Romero, Kenny G, and Barnich. Also apologies to David Byrne. Somebody get me out of this Diet Soda K-HOLE! Fuck off everybody.
Shakes.
