Sunday, July 24, 2005

Single girl, looking for multi-talented single guy

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Did a favor tonight. Or tried to do a favor. My lil buddy asked me to write a personal for her. So I worked on it. And this was the first one. First try.

I’m Beth. I love to read. I love dance parties. I’m pretty cool, all things taken into account. My favorite thing to do is snort Adderall off of men’s penises. Other than that, I really like to look at cock shots. The bigger and darker, the better. I’m also adept at funny stuff, you know, like putting on masks and makeup and jerking off little boys!!! But I also like pain. A whole lot. One thing that really gets me going is food and the fancy things that can be done with food, nudity and horrible torture. I also like money. How else could I afford to freebase like this. I’m very pretty. Seriously. I went wrong a long time ago. After running away from home, I realized that the best way to make money was without my clothes on and a dick in my mouth, mouth, mouth. I also like chocolate and breakfast in bed. Also, bananas and blow. Is Mr. Right out there?

Okay, maybe not. But I'm very serious about this. Second try. At this point I think maybe something wil work for her.

I’m Beth. I love to read. I love to write. I don’t like to solve complicated problems, or deal with people who like to pretend to solve complicated problems. I also don’t like to cause complicated problems. I’m pretty cool, if you ask those who know me. Probably not so cool to the men in my past who couldn’t deal with me. But that is mostly a result of them not having their shit together. Don’t mean to be harsh. I’m quite compassionate. It’s just that I was raised with eight brothers and I have a preternatural understanding, so I’d like to think, of how the male mind thinks. But seriously, I’m not looking to change anything or cause any major ripples in the space time continuum. I just want to talk some shit with someone who is legit, down to earth and able to cope with every day. I’m good looking, active and have good taste. My interests include music, movies, sunshine and long slow bong tokes of kind bud. Just kidding. I love Jesus. Just kidding again. I really like to joke around, can you feel me? Okay, just kidding again. I love Zod. No, I’m just looking to sit back and talk. Sophisticated talk. Future talk. Magic talk. 6758f2hh 412nnb My passcode back to the regular eco-birded ground level plane. Don’t panic. This is not a dream. You will stand up now and kill yourself. Do it smooth. Do it slow. Follow your instincts. Call me.

Two good ones. Here's a third.

Hi, I'm Beth. Let's mate...LOL! So, Im basically just looking for a dood who can make me.....LMAO. What did you think I was going to say you dirty motherfucker?? Cum? Sheesh, dont be an Internet pervy!! I know how to get myself>>>>LSHISMP! You thought I was gonna say "OFF" didnt you??? You cockswain.


BTW, FWIW, and IMHO. Fuckin freaks.

Which one is the most likely to blossom into happiness?

Oh yeah, and how about falling off the wagon and smoking two packs of ciggies and smoking ninja shit cannonballied with Candian Mist? Fuck that. There is a man out there for Beth.
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