SOS! PLEASE SEND HELP!
Umm, okay, so I did some thrift store shopping today and came away with a few nice purchases. A new tophat, knife sharpener, jeans, three t-shirts (one of which depicts a satanic redneck in a Camaro), a cauldron, a Members Only jacket, two pairs of shoes, etc.
Well, I also found what I took to be a pretty nice little pullover sweatshirt with some inscrutable graphic print on the front and back. I couldn't read it, and even held it in a mirror, thinking that maybe it was a type of reflective code. Nada. Then I tried a few rudimentary deciphering spells, read some lunar incanations and even consulted my scroll of obscure runes. Still nothing. I made the purchase.
Later, when I showed Sasefina the sweatshirt, she caught immediately what I was unable to see. Suddenly the ceiling began to sag. My throat clenched up and I felt hot, sweaty, suffocating. I wanted to do something or say something, but I was speechless, redfaced and horrified. Sasefina and Keckies began to snort and howl, a mixture of laughter and embarrassment. It was an ugly moment. I looked again. This is precisely what I saw:
This is not a likeness. This is the actual product. Can you read the print? Seriously, if you can, please accept my gracious apology. Everything in the store is non-refundable so I don't know where to go from here. I need help. I really need help. Please send suggestions, donations, sympathy cards, or anything that you feel is appropo of this goof up to:
Martin McFriend
1919 Total Douche Rocket Lane #1
Real Munson, CA 90210
I know I messed up and I'm sorry. It hurts to have to say this, knowing my loss of credibility. I just hope you, gentle blogreader, will understand and forgive. There will be better days. I'll keep reminding myself. Until then, I remain,
Martin
Shakes.
Well, I also found what I took to be a pretty nice little pullover sweatshirt with some inscrutable graphic print on the front and back. I couldn't read it, and even held it in a mirror, thinking that maybe it was a type of reflective code. Nada. Then I tried a few rudimentary deciphering spells, read some lunar incanations and even consulted my scroll of obscure runes. Still nothing. I made the purchase.
Later, when I showed Sasefina the sweatshirt, she caught immediately what I was unable to see. Suddenly the ceiling began to sag. My throat clenched up and I felt hot, sweaty, suffocating. I wanted to do something or say something, but I was speechless, redfaced and horrified. Sasefina and Keckies began to snort and howl, a mixture of laughter and embarrassment. It was an ugly moment. I looked again. This is precisely what I saw:
This is not a likeness. This is the actual product. Can you read the print? Seriously, if you can, please accept my gracious apology. Everything in the store is non-refundable so I don't know where to go from here. I need help. I really need help. Please send suggestions, donations, sympathy cards, or anything that you feel is appropo of this goof up to:
Martin McFriend
1919 Total Douche Rocket Lane #1
Real Munson, CA 90210
I know I messed up and I'm sorry. It hurts to have to say this, knowing my loss of credibility. I just hope you, gentle blogreader, will understand and forgive. There will be better days. I'll keep reminding myself. Until then, I remain,
Martin
Shakes.
