Mad Mr. McFriend Needs Love

"My heart was fashioned to be susceptible of love and sympathy, and when wrenched by misery to vice and hatred, it did not endure the violence of the change without torture such as you cannot even imagine." — Frankenstein's Monster

Wither on 'til lonely death

People hopping, dudes hopping. Everybody getting their workish on,

Step right up to America’s house, and play with Marty all day long.

Bastardize, this basket case, and turn people stone to mad,

Frumpy dress pulled over her head and dirty time did beckon.

Kill a bad guy, catch him asleep, and sleep thee will whenever’s cold.

The one, the only, the booze drinker curse, and pissed old man is sold.

And show goes on, and hair grows long, and eyes flicker blind to bone,

But already left sight of mommy dearest, and found yourself alone.

Done one, done two, third time, that’s you, rotten sick and bloated.

Furry things and happy smiles and path that gets the golden shoes.

Rest on grassy nothing mades, and play with medal of malaise,

Despite ‘ol grim that found your gaze and brought you off to lower haze.

The mind of Pops McFriend

The following is a reproduction of an actual exchange that ocurred between my sister Sasefina and my father (who remains blogless) about 6 years ago:

-----Original Message-----
From: Sasefina
Sent: Thursday, July 29, 1999 1:30 PM
To: Father McFriend
Subject: one more request

I figured I would throw in another request. Why the hell not?

I was wondering if you could get tickets for REM at Chastain August 30? It is way sold out, but I really want to see them and the band they are playing with, Wilco.

Soooo, if you can ask around, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

-----Original Message-----
From: Father McFriend
Sent: Thursday, July 29, 1999 1:59 PM
To: Sasefina
Subject: RE: one more request

Sase, maybe i'll think about it sometime during the next millenium, long after the band members have died of aids and whatever, and the last sweet tune has been played out from the 80s and 90s and the cyclical pattern of the Snopes and McCoys has re-emerged and the Neanderthal movement has gained prominence once again and the philistines and nomadic barbarian hordes have laid waste to centuries of culture and the settling nuclear dust has finished its permutations among humans, animal, and other various half breeds, the Snopes included, and so it will only be then that the requests of the ethereal ones will be once again paramount in the collective consciousness of those that are and will be and always shall be preeminent, ontological, and basically fucked. ok - i'll think about it. love dad.

-----Original Message-----
From: Sasefina
Sent: Thursday, July 29, 1999 2:09 PM
To: Father McFriend
Subject: RE: one more request

Have you lost your mind? That is a sentence that Faulkner might have written if he had actually gone completely mad. You fatalistic freak.

Thanks?

-----Original Message-----
From: Father McFriend
Sent: Thursday, July 29, 1999 2:17 PM
To: Sasefina
Subject: RE: one more request

What else would you expect from an English major whose consciousness is Catholic, whose kids are legion, and whose aspirations are forever?

Roink banaanng chih-chih-chih puwawk tchone

Nothing stands in my way. Nothing stands in my way. Nothing stands in my way. Nothing stands in my way.

Human alert. Destroy. Destroy mild lifeform. Inherit. Destroy.
Nothing stands in my way. Nothing stands in my way. Nothing stands in my way. Nothing stands in my way. Nothing stands in my way.

Radiation leak detected. Fleeing mode activation initializing. Destroy meek form of life below. Biological punishment to not cease before 01200.

Nothing stands in my way. Nothing stands in my way. Earth crust heating substantially. Flee. Enabling flight schedule. Thrusters on.